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How Not to be a Losing Lender 6.0

Episode 6: Finding Healing After a Lost Loan

Losing a loan to a defaulting debtor is the nightmare for every lender, especially when the lent amount is something the lender cannot afford to lose.

However, despite following all the money lending tips outlined in the previous episodes of this series, there is still the possibility of losing money.

In such cases, how do you find the healing you need to get over your loss? How do you forgive the debt and move on with your life?

I am going to highlight some workable solutions in the following steps:

1. Stop fixating on the loss

It is true that whatever you fixate on and think about more often magnifies and either gets better or worse. If it is a good experience, you will be pleased with the outcome or even feel spams of nostalgia. But if the experience was a painful one, the more you think about it, the harder it will be for you to move on.

The same thing applies to money. If after following all the strategies laid out in previous episodes of this series, you still end up losing your money to a defaulting debtor, know that it is beyond your control.

Don’t feel bad for lending the money to him/her, because you did it out of goodwill. It’s his/her folly and dishonor for running away with your money like that and betraying your trust in him/her.

You don’t have to beat yourself up. You should be comforted in the fact that you did your best to be wise with your money while being of help to someone in need. Also, you should take solace in the fact that you are parting with “money you can afford to lose”.

How can you grow from this experience? How can you apply these lessons in future lending transactions to avoid a recurrence?

2. Learn your lessons

Do think about the lessons you can learn from this bad experience. You should be able to sit down and find out what exactly went wrong.

Why did the debtor default?

Were there any signs that this person was not trustworthy?

Could you have been more thorough in your assessment before agreeing to loan the money to him/her? What did you do right or wrong? Was there anything you could have done to hold him/her accountable to the repayment?

How can you grow from this experience? How can you apply these lessons in future lending transactions to avoid a recurrence?

Asking yourself these questions and answering them honestly will help you learn your lessons and move on with your life.

One of the lessons could be that you might want to be more cautious before loaning money to other people next time, especially large sums of money. Don’t lend large sums at one go, unless you are really close to the person and you know the money is being used for legit reasons, such as emergency hospital bills. Most important, don’t lend what you cannot afford to lose.

3. Move on by earning more

There is a popular saying that “the best revenge is success”. I believe the best way to find healing after losing a loan is to motivate yourself to be more successful financially.

You will gain nothing by being bitter, sad and angry at your debtor or yourself. Bring yourself to forgive the loan completely in your mind. One way to do that is to strive to convert the bitterness and other negative emotions associated with the loan into positive energy that will push you to work harder and make 10x of what you lost. That way, you will hardly remember the lost loan and moving on will be as easy as taking a walk.

In conclusion, if we lived in a perfect world where everyone was honest and circumstances worked in our favour, lending money and getting it back would never be a problem. But since the world is that perfect, it is necessary that you as a financially intelligent person take steps to protect your money using the strategies outlined in previous episodes of this series. Nonetheless, if after you have done the needful, the unexpected happens, you should be able to find healing using the three steps mentioned above.


That brings us to the end of the series on “How Not to be a Losing Lender” which started months ago.

Do watch out for my next blog post. Scroll down and subscribe to my newsletter so you can stay up-to-date.

Meanwhile, please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section on how you found healing after a lost loan.

See yaa. ?

If you liked what you just read, you might also like:

Episode 1: Putting Money Lending in Perspective

Episode 2: Why People Lend Money

Episode 3: When Not to Lend Money

Episode 4: Questions to Ask Before Lending Your Hard-earned Money.

Episode 5: How to Hold Your Debtor Accountable

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  1. Pingback: How Not To Be a Losing Lender 2.0 - FINTEL Coach

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